Introspective & Self-Criticizing

Do you ever have those days when you are introspective? No, that's not the word.  Do you ever have those days when you are self-critical?  Days when you analyze every aspect of yourself?

I had one of those days today...

Why doesn't that person want to be my friend?
Why am I not loyal enough?
Why do I continually make wrong choices?
Why am I not a better Christian?
Why do I let that one friend hurt my feelings over and over and over again?
Why do I focus on the most unimportant thing instead of my child who is standing right in front of my?
Why does it feel the like everyone around me is living the most amazing, community filled life, while I feel lonely?
What is wrong with me?

Seriously, I hate these days!

And, as I self-inspect (self-criticize) further I realize that every flaw that I have contributes to every question I ask about myself.

But then I remember the verses I read earlier this week out of Matthew 8.  As I inspect further I know that what I want in life is to be the kind of person who has faith like the Roman officer who asks Jesus to heal his servant.  He tells Jesus that he doesn't need to come to his house, but that he knows if Jesus will speak the word it will be done.  And, here's the part I long for...Matthew 8:10 says, "When Jesus heard this He was amazed."

Can you imagine having the kind of heart and faith that Jesus is AMAZED by?????

So, on the days when I am wondering...

When will I feel like I belong here?

I pray that Matthew 8:10 will come to my mind and I will stop self-criticizing and begin to live to try to amaze the ONLY one who's opinion matters in the light of eternity.

A BlackBerry Perspective

Christmas and the end of 2009 was a very fun time for our family.  The only problem is that just about the only pictures I took were on my phone!  So, excuse the poor quality of the pics.  They are all I've got :)

Sam was in his very last preschool Christmas program.  He was such a ham.  We loved watching him perform.  I was am so sad that he is growing up so quickly!

Our church family spent a night together helping a local charity put together bikes and trikes and big wheels for boys and girls for Christmas.  This night was a highlight of our Christmas holiday.  I love being able to give to others along side the people we do life with.  Such a blessing!

Sam got a MUCH needed new coat and was very proud of it!

These were Emma's new slippers that she got to wear to "Pajama Day" at school.  She was thrilled with them!

Rhoda and I tried our hand at making wedding bouquets.  It was a lot of fun, a new experience and turned out pretty well.  I'm very excited to see what 2010 has to bring for our business Happy Hearts!

At the afore mentioned wedding event I got a flat tire!  It took us three days to get a new tire on and get everything squared away!  I was sooooo thankful that I have a husband who takes care of me and makes sure our cars are taken care of too!

It snowed on Christmas Eve here in TX!  The kids were sooooooo excited.  Emma could not wait to get outside and catch snowflakes with her tongue.

Sadly, this is one of the only pictures I took on Christmas morning.  What was I thinking????  We had a really nice day together.  Sam was modeling some glasses that came with his new Nerf gun stuff.  The fire was roaring all day, there was snow on the ground and apple cider warm on the stove.  It was a wonderful day!

On Christmas afternoon some close friends came over for dinner, playing games and enjoying the holiday together.  The turkey was soooooo good!  We had such an easy and comfortable time.  So thankful for where we are at and the people we are surrounded by!

On Dec. 27th we embarked on a trip to Arizona to see Nana.  It was a two day drive.  We enjoyed our most favorite road trip treat....Dairy Queen!

FINALLY we got to Arizona!

There were more ice cream treats to be eaten in Arizona!

There were amazing sunsets to be seen!

There were amazing views from my mom's condo to enjoy.

So, there you have it.  The end of 2009 from the perspective of my BlackBerry!  I am resolving to use a real camera a lot more in 2010!