More Than 140 Characters

It's been nine months since my last blog entry.

Sad.

I think social media has replaced my need to blog.  But, just recently, I have felt the need to say more than 140 characters on twitter.

__________________________________________

Life is very good.

First day of school

Emma and Sam have started school.  

Emma's first day of 3rd grade

Emma is in third grade.  Her teacher's name is Ms. Guillory.  Ms. Guillory smiles a lot and describes her class as dreamy and squishy.  So cute!

Sam's first day of kindergarten

Sam is in kindergarten.  His teacher's name is Mrs. Davis.  She is exactly what every kindergarten teacher should be...pretty...sweet...soft-spoken, yet firm.  She sent me an email telling me how proud I should be that I have a son like Sam. I am.

I am still working at Cross Timbers as one of the counseling pastors.  My hours have gone from 20/week to approximately 25 - 30.

Erik is still working at Cross Timbers as well.  He is soaring.  I am so proud of him.  He is the hardest worker I have ever known.  I love his strength of character and am very thankful for him.

__________________________________________

Being a working mom is truly one of the biggest challenges and life changes I've ever encountered.  I'm trying to figure out how to juggle my time and give my all to my family, while still being present for work.  I'm having a hard time learning how to take care of my family's needs while still making time to take care of myself.  I desperately need to know how to push really hard when I need to push hard and relax hard when I need to relax.  If the truth be told, I don't feel like I'm doing any part of life well.

These last few weeks I have had my thoughts set on discipline and what that word means and looks like in my life.  I need to figure out why I struggle against discipline.  What is it about me that wants to rebel against the walls of a structured life?  Why do I feel so suffocated by what is the best thing for me?

In my search for answers I have really pushed into the idea that I need to change at more than a behavior level.  I need to change at a belief and identity level.  Somewhere along the way I have believed a lie about myself or about God that causes me to chose self destruction over health.  I am on a mission to discover the what, when, why and how about what I believe and then to ask God to replace that lie with HIS truth.

So, that is the journey I am on.  

I have decided to blog about it because:

1.  I want some accountability.

2.  Someone out there might be on the same journey and realize they are not alone

3.  Someday I want to look back and see how far I have come.

So, how about you?  Any thoughts on discipline?  Do you live a disciplined life?  If so, where does that come from inside of you?  If not, why not?