Sad.
I think social media has replaced my need to blog. But, just recently, I have felt the need to say more than 140 characters on twitter.
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Life is very good.
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| First day of school |
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| Emma's first day of 3rd grade |
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| Sam's first day of kindergarten |
I am still working at Cross Timbers as one of the counseling pastors. My hours have gone from 20/week to approximately 25 - 30.
Erik is still working at Cross Timbers as well. He is soaring. I am so proud of him. He is the hardest worker I have ever known. I love his strength of character and am very thankful for him.
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Being a working mom is truly one of the biggest challenges and life changes I've ever encountered. I'm trying to figure out how to juggle my time and give my all to my family, while still being present for work. I'm having a hard time learning how to take care of my family's needs while still making time to take care of myself. I desperately need to know how to push really hard when I need to push hard and relax hard when I need to relax. If the truth be told, I don't feel like I'm doing any part of life well.
These last few weeks I have had my thoughts set on discipline and what that word means and looks like in my life. I need to figure out why I struggle against discipline. What is it about me that wants to rebel against the walls of a structured life? Why do I feel so suffocated by what is the best thing for me?
In my search for answers I have really pushed into the idea that I need to change at more than a behavior level. I need to change at a belief and identity level. Somewhere along the way I have believed a lie about myself or about God that causes me to chose self destruction over health. I am on a mission to discover the what, when, why and how about what I believe and then to ask God to replace that lie with HIS truth.
So, that is the journey I am on.
I have decided to blog about it because:
1. I want some accountability.
2. Someone out there might be on the same journey and realize they are not alone
3. Someday I want to look back and see how far I have come.
So, how about you? Any thoughts on discipline? Do you live a disciplined life? If so, where does that come from inside of you? If not, why not?
First of all, I am SOOOO glad you posted! I have been longing for some good words and insight from you.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I am not a disciplined person. I long to be, but I just am not. I have also been thinking lately about making sure I rest and rest well. And, along with my long list of to-do's to include some things that would keep me healthy, both spiritually and physically. Unfortunately, those things are last on my list, or are the first things I delete if I'm short on time. For some reason, I feel like it's more important to dust or vacuum than it is to workout or plan my time well. So, maybe it all leads to poor time management or not seeing myself as God sees me. Whatever it is, it needs to change, and I'm so looking forward to journeying with you, or at least following you on your journey, and claiming the awesome life that God had planned for me long ago.