Thankful

It's Thanksgiving morning. There is a lot of cooking, parade watching, turkey grilling and great smells being experienced in our house.

I have so many things to be immensely thankful for. God has done an amazing work in my life and in the life of my family over the last year! But before I spread all my Thanksgiving cheer I want to say one thing...

On just about every holiday I fight fight fight the urge to become nostalgic and think about the people I love who are not with us on that particular day. I miss my dad with my whole heart, I wish my mom, brother and I lived closer, I hope for the day I get to spend a holiday with Mea & Pal again.

I have always longed for those holidays where the house is full of my family, Erik's family, our family.

But, for many different and very complicated reasons we now find ourselves spending most holidays without our family of origins.

An amazing thing has happened though...an amazing thing! God has always, no matter where we are, blessed us with friends who feel like (who are) family. He has brought people into our lives who love us and who we love. They take us in, we take them in, and holidays become about family again.

So, today we are going over to the Sanchez' house. We are going to laugh, eat a lot and know that God has blessed us over and above...beyond measure!

I will wait for the day when my mom and brother are out of school and can travel on the holidays. I will wait for the day when we can financially afford to travel to them. I will remember my dad's laugh and how much he loved pecan pie. I know that in years to come my house (or their homes) will be bustling and filled with laughter, filled with family who adore each other.

Today I will focus on the AMAZING friends who have become family. Today I will know that my family has grown over the last few years and that God has brought these people into my life to sharpen me. They make me a better mom, wife and friend. I am so very thankful for that!

So, on to my Thankful List...

Today I am thanking God that...

• I have a home that is really home to me. I love it! I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• My family is together, we are re-discovering laughter in our home and we have found a brand new, over-the-top, amazing kind of normal this past year. I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• God speaks to my heart everyday about His love for me, His grace for me, His mercy for me. He has changed me. He has removed the masks I hid behind and is replacing my hurts with compassion for the hurting. HE is amazing!!!!! I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• I have a husband who is my personal hero. He has fought and fought and, when he was down, fought some more to make a life for our family in the midst of adversity. Erik has stood at the bow of our "ship" and steered us to a place of blessing. I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• Cross Timbers is my church home. I have found a place of belonging. I have found people who love me for me...regardless of my flaws and my junk...they see me as an amazing creation whom God is healing and restoring. I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• My mom loves me no matter what. She is a voice of encouragement no matter what. She supports me in all I do...200%! I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• My daughter has a contagious laugh and loves to love people. She is creative. She is meticulous. She is SMART. She is a joy and a light in my life. I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!
• My son is affectionate. He is funny. He saves me kisses. He has a strength that I can already see, even at 4. I am THANKFUL!!!!!!!

I am blessed.

I'm Semi-Sweet

I had a crazy past seven days. Here's what I realized/experienced during this whirlwind week:

1. I used to be a sugary-sweet, people pleasing, co-dependent. I can no longer be described that way. I am healing. I am now a semi-sweet, people LOVING, God-dependent person.

2. The mask I used to wear to hide my emotions no longer fits my face. I am so so so glad!

3. Seeing a baby being born is one of the most beautiful sights EVER!

4. I love the people God has placed in my life with all my heart...friends, family, co-workers, neighbors...they profoundly affect me.

5. My husband choosing to buy me Bon Jovi tickets over getting new tires for his truck made me feel like a princess.

6. When I put my mind to it I can get a lot accomplished in a short amount of time.

7. When someone does something that hurts my kids it absolutely breaks my heart and, shamefully, makes me want to go after that person with a vengeance!!!

and,

8. I realized how far God has brought me...but I also saw how incredibly far I still have to go. I'm excited to see the work He has planned to do in my heart!!!!

Sonic & Horton Hears a Who Make it all Better

Yesterday the weather was amazing!!!! The sun was shining, there was a light breeze...it was Texas at it's finest.

Sam decided to go outside and play a little football. Nothing could make us happier, so to the backyard he went.

About 30 minutes later I heard a piercing scream, which I just KNEW meant we would be taking a trip to the hospital.

Erik got to Sam first. Sam quickly explained that he had been running with the football, tripped and fell head-first into the brick retaining wall that is behind our house. From the looks of it he "caught" himself with his eye.

Poor baby! (By the way...the picture doesn't do it justice)It took all of 5 seconds for me to decide that we were heading to urgent care. His eye immediately began to swell and I immediately began to panic. As we drove there we called Jenn, our pediatrician's wife, who helped calm me down. From talking to her and being reassured that we would be getting a call from the doctor shortly we decided that a treat from Sonic was more in order.

The doctor called a little later to check on Sam. His head hurt most of the night...but with the help of tylenol, an ice pack and "Horton Hears a Who" we were able to keep it under control.

His eye looks pretty nasty this morning, but I'm so thankful because it could have been so much worse!

So, we are past the very first football injury. Any chance that will be the last????

Big Rocks Go in First!

Two weeks ago I took a hard look at my life and the busyness that was running my world. I decided that enough was enough. I made a detailed schedule for our family and decided that anything else that tried to creep in would be immediately cut out. Well, honestly, that lasted for about three days and then work got over the top busy and my new schedule went out the window.

So, here I am, 14 days after I began thinking about implementing a disciplined schedule feeling like my efforts were a dismal failure.

But, a disciplined life is not for the faint of heart!

So, today we will start again. We are slowing down, putting the "big rocks" in our schedule first and then whatever else will fit is bonus. We are going to stick to our values and therefore be the best we can be so that we can do what God has called us to do.

Give me some tips...What do you do to stay/be disciplined? How do you keep your schedule from being so busy that you can't breathe?

NOW

I'm starting a new blog because there is a lot of emotional junk attached to my previous blog. It was private because it had to be. I had to hide from mean people who were looking to twist my words and celebrate in my failures. Well, NOT TODAY DEVIL!!!!!

I have moved on and moved up!

When I look at the difference in my life 3 years ago compared to today I cannot believe the changes.

Three years ago I felt like I was drowning. I felt like I was living life with a mask on. I felt like I had to perform to be perceived as ok.

But now....NOW....

NOW I'm in a place where performance does NOT equal value. NOW I'm in a place where I can be more real than I've ever been before. I can say exactly what's on my mind to the people around me and I have no thought or worry that they are going to judge me. NOW I'm in a place where I experience God's love, grace and mercy on a daily basis. NOW I am walking in real freedom!

But, this freedom has had a price. I think that freedom always comes with a price. I miss my long time dear dear close to my heart friends. I miss living in the same town with my family. I miss the dreams that I was SURE were going to come to pass.

However, Jesus paid an ENORMOUS price so that I could walk in freedom. The price that I am paying for this bit of earthly freedom pales in comparison to the price He paid so that I could have ETERNAL freedom.

I'm soooooo thankful. It's been the hardest road I've ever walked, but I'm soooooo thankful for where this road has led us.

So, here's to a new blog, a new life and, most of all, here's to FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!